Hello Fat Girl!

Hola Gorda! Que dices Narizon? Oye Enano!

In Peru, if you are fat, you’ll be called Fatty. If you have a big nose, they’ll call you Narizon (Big Nose). And if you’re short, they’ll call you Midget. And it won’t be your enemies who will call you these names — it will be your lover, your best friend, your mother. In fact, being called Gordita (little fat girl) is a term of affection, even though any European or American girl would probably slap the person who said it.

When I first met one of my husband’s friends, I only knew him buy the name Gordis. He’s a big fat boy, who has been chubby since childhood, so no one ever calls him anything else. It took me years to find out his real name, and even today I struggle with what to call him. I just don’t remember. Is it Alberto Luis? Alberto Juan? Marco Luis? So I end up saying nothing. Too embarrassed to call him Gordis to his face.

Peru is definitely not the place for you if you’re easily insulted. You really have to have thick skin to live here. Let’s say you gain a couple of pounds. No one will hesitate to say “Hi Fat Girl, you’ve gained a lot of weight. What happened?” The same if you If you look sick, have a face full of zits, or have man boobs. You don’t have to wonder if people notice. Don’t worry. They will let you know.

But of course there some limits as to how far they will go. A guy in a wheelchair will not be called “Four Wheels”, a blind person will not be called “Darkness” and a person on his death bed will not be called “The Dead”. Funnily enough, the remarks are not meant to be hurtful, although they might seem exceptionally rude to us who grew up somewhere else.

And me? They call me Flaca (Skinny Girl). Until I gain weight, of course.

The Rice and Potato People

Everyone who knows a Peruvian knows that they love to eat. In fact, they’re quite  obsessed with their food. Don’t you dare say you don’t like some Peruvian delicacy, it’s almost a mortal sin.

Kidding aside, Peruvian cuisine is increasingly getting popular around the world. Star chef Gaston Acurio just recently opened his first restaurant in New York City, La Mar, moving into Tabla’s old haunts. La Mar is preceded by very many good and not so good Peruvian joints in the city, perhaps most known is the excellent Pio Pio with 4 locations in Manhattan, 3 in Queens and one in the Bronx. And anyone who’s been to the Japanese Brazilian Peruvian fusion restaurant Sushi Samba can appreciate that Peruvian food definitely adds some flair.

What makes the Peruvian cuisine interesting is that it has been influenced by so many different directions. Immigrants from Japan, Spain, China, and Africa have all added their spices, utensils, ways to prepare the foods to the traditional Peruvian style. In addition, several of the foods we consider staples in our own kitchens originate from Peru and Latin America: potatoes, tomatoes, corn, peanuts and chilies.  The sum of it all is a cuisine that’s quite unique. Ceviche: raw fresh fish/seafood “cooked” in the acidity of lime juice. Aji de Gallina: strips of chicken served with a creamy yellow and spicy sauce. Causa: mashed yellow potato in layers with chicken/tuna, avocado and  mixed with key lime, onion and chili. Pachamanca: a variety of meats, herbs and vegetables that are slowly cooked in a covered hole in the ground on a bed of heated stones. And of course Lomo Saltado, the flagship of any Peruvian restaurant worth its name. Lomo Saltado is a dish of strips of beef cooked with onions, tomatoes, oregano and french fries. Served with rice, of course.

Which brings me to the funny side of Peruvian cuisine. Everything is served with rice and potatoes. Everything. Even pasta, sometimes, is served with rice and potatoes. If you don’t have those two sides, it’s not really a meal.

But potatoes can also be served on their own. With over 5,000 varieties of potatoes in Peru, it’s not a wonder that potatoes are so popular. So don’t be surprised to be served a plate of cold potatoes with a yellow spicy sauce for appetizer. Potatoes and nothing else. That’s Papa A La Huancaina. Delicious, but funny for us non-Peruvians. The other one is Papa A La Ocopa, in a gray-green creamy herbal sauce. Both are topped with slices of a boiled egg and black olives. Voilà – you’re set.

Unfortunately, overeating on rice and potatoes will give you a body like Sponge Bob: skinny legs with a square torso. While there is an emerging revolution of healthy foods and exercise, many people still look like they’re carrying a suitcase under their shirt. And tourists that come for a week or two will most likely gain a few pounds. But don’t let this discourage you from trying Peruvian food. Some of it’s really good. With all the seafood and lime, some of it is actually also healthy.

So go on – indulge. As long as as you stay away from all that rice and all those potatoes…

The Ascetic Life of A New Apartment

So we finally moved in our new apartment last week. Or old, I should say, because we had it rented for three years. But this is the first time we’re living in it.

What a difference it is to have your own place with your own kitchen. I know the food of Peru is known to be absolutely delicious, but surviving on cheap cafe food and menus do nothing to flatter your waistline. For those of you unfamiliar with Peruvian food – all meals come with potatoes AND white rice, and a piece of meat of fish. You’re lucky to get any vegetables at all. And before you know it, you’ve gained 10 lbs. The good thing about the menus, of course, is that you can get a full meal (appetizer, main course and drink) for $2-3 .

Home-cooked meals can be more expensive, but if you shop in the markets you’ll be fine. It was funny cooking the first meals, because we had next to no utensils. Our first meal, a salad, was made in something that looks like a pee-pot, with one knife and using a plate as a cutting board. Luckily there were only two of us, because we only have two chairs.

In fact, we had nothing more than two chairs, a dining table and two rocking chairs the first week. But do you really need more? We’ve made a decision not to fill up this apartment with “stuff”. I guess we’ll see how that goes…